It's Carnival Time!

 
  No, I don't mean 'Carnivale.'  That's the drunken, half-naked, pre-Lenten bacchanal down in Brazil.
  Although....
  I mean the Dublin Firemens Carnival in...uh...Dublin (Pennsylvania, not Ireland, for those of you who may have wandered in from outside the United States.  Can I see some papers?).
  A 90 year tradition which sets up shop along the shores of Route 313 (I know, but 'shores' sounded much more lyrical than 'pavement across the street from the farm that sells Amish furniture'), the Dublin Carnival is an annual summer treat that draws in the crowds from the surrounding communities eager for one last gasp of summer before it's back to school.
  NOTE:  It wasn't originally behind the firehouse on 313.  It used to be somewhere near the Dublin Borough Hall.  I'm not exactly sure.  But, since that was a long time ago and all of those people are dead (or incontinent), I don't feel like looking it up.
  Even though Hoagiefest is long gone, I eagerly look forward to this end-of-summer tradition because it reminds me of the ones I used to attend as a kid.  Although, when I was a kid, the ferris wheel was mule-driven.
  The Dublin Carnival features most of the staples of any similar backyard extravaganza (even fat guys with no shirts).  There are plenty of Midway rides, games of chance (although the games at Dublin aren't as rigged as others I've seen and the barkers aren't nearly as obnoxious.  "Hey, would you like to play?  No?  Okay, then.  Have a nice day."), and plenty of delicious, absolutely dreadful (nutritionally speaking) things to eat.
  There's even entertainment up on the carnival's main stage.  In fact, "Bill Clinton and His Band" will be appearing next week.  Personally, I think it's fantastic that the former president has found something to do in his spare time.
  As I gotten older, I no longer ride most of the rides.  Even the Ferris Wheel's repetitive up-and-down motion (no, I won't go there.  This is a "family" column) makes me queasy.  And, while it looks awesome, being flung around like a tethered ping pong ball by Vertigo couldn't end well for me (I'm thinking carnival goers wouldn't want to be splattered by used funnel cake).  Plus, you can forget about the Gravitron.  The ultimate Spin-N-Puke, I'd end up with funnel cake being splattered on me.
  Kids, knock yourselves out.  They look fantastic, but not for me.
  No, I much prefer the rush of the slides.  Even though my hiney will probably get stuck and I'll be the cause of a massive toddler pile-up.
  Even though my age has kept my feet pretty much planted on the ground and immediately adjacent to anyone who would sell me cotton candy, cheese fries, and Diet Coke, I love going to the Dublin Carnival.  It's cheap entertainment for an exceptionally good cause, the volunteers (volunteers) who have the guts to go into burning houses.  I'm glad we have men and women who would do that.
  So, if you get a chance, head on out to the carnival.
  Even though the "Jimmy Carter Moonshine Jug Band" isn't playing this year.

HOW TO GET THERE:  The Dublin Firemens Carnival is on Route 313 is in Dublin, Pennsylvania, behind the Dublin Firehouse (NOTE: Three uses of 'Dublin' in one sentence.).  From Doylestown: take a car.  From Quakertown:  Take a car.  From Lancaster:  Take a buggy.  Give yourself a couple days.
That's pretty much all I got.  Whaddya think I am? Map-Quest?  At any rate, if you need this blog to get directions to the carnival, you have problems.  Good luck.